“Hello World”

In which our reluctant hero faces an unexpected challenge…

Ping!

“What’s that?” I wonder as I retrieve my not-quite-as-smart-as-it-likes-to-think-that-it-is-phone from my trouser pocket…

Facebook Notification: You have been added to the closed group Wolverhampton NCT Volunteers Discussion Group.

“Have I indeed?” I mutter, almost breaking my ankle slipping on a plastic banana carelessly discarded on the hall floor. Kids, eh?

And so it begins. My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to write a most exciting blog. A blog about being a Dad no less. A blog filled with gripping content about parenting, adventures and nappies. (Hmmm… perhaps less of the nappy content will need to be included.) Today I am officially a blogger. Probably.

Paradoxically, what qualifies me for this Herculean task, i.e. having a threenager and a one year old, is exactly the same thing that should be disqualifying me from doing it. Having a threenager and a one year old. I barely have time to iron tight enough creases into the bed linen, let alone embark on creating the 21st Century equivalent of Pepys’ Diaries. What could possibly go wrong?

Apparently the parenting blogosphere is awash with mummy bloggers, but not daddy bloggers and I am told that I may be able to get a fresh take on everything. Okay.

So, what should I write about? Well, the kids presumably. Perhaps a series of side splitting anecdotes involving said kids? You know, like the endless stream of Facebook posts such as “Olly said ‘wees’ instead of ‘please’ when we were in the Asda earlier. It was hilarious. Lol.” that I have to scroll through to get to the shared Guardian articles that I had actually logged on to look at. And no, Olly isn’t hilarious. He’s clearly a bit stupid. Or two years old, which amounts to pretty much the same thing.

Alternatively, I could post just loads of terribly composed out of focus pictures of the little people doing, well, stuff. And maybe add a meme for good measure. After all, that’s what Mums post ALL OF THE TIME isn’t it? (You’re with me on this, Dads? Yes? Where have you all gone?)  It’s a nailed on tactic for getting “likes” for sure. Hold that thought.

As this is an NCT thing, I suppose I’d better not promote formula. Fair enough. With all the current hysteria about SATS and over testing, it is probably sensible to avoid bringing maths into the equation.

Did you see what I did there? Two subtle maths word plays. Or, put another way, “double maths..” Actually that makes three, doesn’t it? As easy as Pi…

I’m not sure that this is going to work, is it?

Anyway. That looks like about enough words to just about pass for an opening post. I should probably start thinking about what to put in the next one now. Maybe next time there will be some actual content. Don’t hold your breath.

In the meantime, if you have any ideas (I’m stumped… send help) please send them on a postcard or on the back of a stuck down envelope to the usual address. Or post a comment. It’ll be cheaper.

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2 thoughts on ““Hello World”

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